Men are not nearly as complicated as women when it comes to what they want in relationships. After interviewing hundreds of men to find out what men really want in a relationship; the answers are quite promising. Men of the past were very much like hunters. They knew what they wanted, chased after it, and once they got what they wanted, were content to be the provider and spend evenings on the couch, reading the paper or watching the telly. Now I may be over-simplifying, but you get the overall picture.
Men today have evolved somewhat. Not all, but most! There’s still the slouch, who doesn’t make much of an effort after he has won over the woman he desired. There’s also the jerk who is driven by his ego. His woman is his property. He is often concerned mostly about his own needs, demanding respect and can also become violent when he doesn’t get his way.
The 3rd category is the man most women seek but are not quite sure he actually exists. Good news Ladies, not only do they exist; they are everywhere! Real men! They are confident, independent, self-assured, kind and generous. They are loving, very respectful and are seeking women of quality. These are men who are seeking a deep connection with one woman. They want to share their lives with someone in a meaningful way. (Now if a man falls into category 1 or 2; ie. slouch or jerk; he will vehemently disagree…. beware!)
So what do real men want in a relationship? A real man has a lot to offer a woman and he wants to feel that his woman respects him. It might be the most important criteria to win his heart. He wants to know that you admire and appreciate him. When he takes you out to dinner to a really great restaurant; do you thank him and complement him on his choice? Or do you complain that the waiter was a bit too slow? Do you take it as your right to be treated to a fine meal or do you actually appreciate his efforts.
Do you respect who he is, what he believes and what he does for a living OR are you trying to change him into what you would like him to be? Now showing respect does not mean you have to gush false compliments. A real man will see right through that. A quality woman wants to be respected and recognized for who she is. So does a real man.
Only after he knows that he has your respect, do the other criteria come into play. He wants your support and your loyalty. He wants companionship. He also wants to be nurtured (not babied) and lastly but still vital on the list; he wants passion and excitement.
So when it comes down to basics real man wants what any of us desire. Relationships are about a mutual exchange of energy. We give and we take – both ways. That way both people feel supported, loved, respected and desired. Always ask yourself what you have to offer in a relationship and then ask for that in return – nothing more and nothing less.
Kas Naidoo is a Relationship Coach and Matchmaker.
Contact her on firstname.lastname@example.org / 082 483 9625