Achievement without fulfillment does not equal a successful life. We could have the financial success, a mansion, drive an exotic car and go on even more exotic holidays; but if we’re stressed, unhappy or sick; we can never be fulfilled. I’m not saying we must choose between happiness and success; I’m saying we need to figure out how to have both. A fulfilled life begins with self-mastery.
Have you noticed that everywhere you go, you’re there? In your significant relationship, at work, with family, colleagues and even when you’re alone. So it stands to reason that if we improve ourselves, we can improve every area of our lives. Self-mastery is entirely in our own hands. When we live our lives from the outside in; we give our power away to people and circumstances. We react to what people do or what happens on a daily basis. When we make the shift and start living inside out; we take back the power to create our destiny instead of merely reacting to what life throws us.
While we all have goals and dreams; it is our inner need for fulfillment that drives our choices and behavior. According to world-renowned coach Tony Robbins, we all have 6 needs for fulfillment. The first is the need for certainty and security. The second is the need for uncertainty and variety. Third is our need for significance. Fourth is love. Fifth is growth and the last one is contribution. Most of us focus on one or two of these needs and end up feeling successful in that one area but unfulfilled overall.
For example, if our need for certainty and security and maybe love are the two needs we focus on, we may have a good relationship, a steady income, all our bills are paid; we own our own home and have a retirement fund in place. Then we wonder why we are not content. It’s because we have 4 other needs that we haven’t paid much attention to. We all need to feel significant; and that is why so many people post pictures of every birthday, anniversary or holiday on social media. But significance does not come from strangers; it comes from being the best in your job that you are capable of being. It comes from being the best lover or parent or friend that you can be. True significance comes from making a difference.
The need for growth and progress often takes a backseat in a busy life. Creating a happy relationship, a successful business or a fit, healthy body requires certain skill sets that we can learn when we fulfill the need for growth. When you’re growing you feel most alive. Ask anyone who has embarked on a personal growth journey. It’s a journey of self-discovery, up-skilling, a deeper understanding of ourselves and of how life works. It’s exhilarating! Fulfilling the need for contribution, giving, making a difference and being of service makes you feel even more alive.
When we shift the focus to self-mastery; we are on this journey to becoming the best versions of ourselves that we are capable of. We master our thoughts. We live more consciously in the present moment. We become more authentic. We master our emotions. We are only in control of our lives to the degree that we can control our emotions. We master our habits. The journey of self-mastery is not for the faint-hearted but it is the journey to your greatest life. It is a path on which you will learn who you are; why you do the things you do and why you’ve created the life you are now living. You will take 100% responsibility for yourself and the life you’ve created and you will be able to make the internal shifts to create the results you actually yearn for deep within.
This is the only path that leads to self-fulfillment. Can we master our relationships by learning the skills to be a great partner and also get your own needs met? Can you master your work so that you make the greatest impact with what you do? Can you master spirituality so you have the deepest connection with your creator? Can you master your eating and exercise habits so you create a fit, healthy, sexy body?
Any change starts with a firm decision. A fulfilled life starts with making a decision to own your power to be the best version of yourself that you can be.
Kas Naidoo – Life Coach, Matchmaker, Founder of Quantum Tribe (A community of people living consciously)